New Attitude.

I made a decision and i'm trying to stick with it
you didn't like it, but i did it for my own good.
Nights like this when i start to get lonely...
I call on the Lord because i know i should
He understands how i've been feeling lately
He loves me unconditionally no matter what ive done
I feel ungrateful sometimes when i get selfish
when clouds are above me, He brings out the sun
He fills my heart with joy every single day
I'm tired of being angry about petty things
So i'll sit back and let God lead me
and open my heart to see what He brings.

11.21

twenty one years
of bitter affairs
shaking my fist
pulling out hair
too busy to live
too busy to love
lost and mislead
guidance from above
is much needed
and cherished
to teach me
before i perish
to rid myself
of too many errands
to make time for love
for family and friends
working my life
into the ground
with a smile on my face
and no one around
im withering and alone
looking for hope
but i still run away
a pitiful dope
running and tripping
falling and failing
breaking my bones
but not moaning or wailing
letting the pain
eat at my soul
i need a rope
to get out of this hole
my life is passing
in front of my face
i just hope soon
i find my place.

6.24

if i could
i would
throw my elbow
at your face
break your pretty nose
put you in your place
if i could
i would
knee you in the throat
then leave a sticky note
with a quote:
"break my heart, i'll break your bones"
lessons learned
tables have turned
you are now where i once was
i do understand
i just dont care
so i wanna pound your spine
pull out your hair
break your back
snap your arm
this is just a poem
i mean no harm
unless you contact me
one more time
then...
you're mine.

5.13

if i had a dime
for every moment i wished
i could go back in time
id have enough money
to build a time machine
and rewrite everything.
if i had nickel
for every joke you told me
every laugh, every tickle
every inside memory we shared
nothing compared.
if i had a fucking penny
for every time i think this
for every day
for every kiss
every story we ever told
thoughts of us
both young and old
the life we planned
the time that spanned
living in the moment
together
alone
then it was unknown
but now...
if i had a dime
for every time
i regret losing you then
id be the richest, sadest,
son of a bitch theres ever been.
im sorry.

you know who this is about...

with every breath you take
i hate you a little more
with every mistake you make
within me, more hatred is born.
every morning that you open your eyes
is another miserable day
ive never in my life despised
anything so much...go away.
do us all a favor and disappear
it doesnt matter how
let me make myself clear...
drink some cyanide
use a gun
or maybe a kife
i know you have one
youve stabbed me in the back with it
countless times
you're the reason
for all of my rhymes
do me a favor, put your hand on your chest
where your hearts supposed to be
notice its not beating
because its empty
gve yourself a shot
or you could take a pill
you want someone to help you?
i know someone who will
do us a favor and disappear
remove your face from existence
cause no one wants you here.

Karma....

I put my foot in the fire
And it burned to bits
I put my heart in your hands
And you threw a fit
I put my love in your arms
And you treated me like shit
Now I’m done.
You’ll be sorry.

I put my strength in your soul
And you so let me down
Now I’m falling apart
Nothing but pieces on the ground
I’m a worthless piece of shit
And you’re nowhere around
Now I’m done.
You’ll be sorry.

You don’t have to believe in karma…
…for her to bite you in the ass.
Now I’m done.
You’ll be sorry.

first love.

Three long years
Come to a close
We give back belongings
Books and clothes
I let your memories
Fall from my mind
With thoughts of us
From past times
As I close that door
And throw the key
I walk away
So peacefully
The pain, this time
Is slow and deep
No anger, no violence
A silent weep
I’ve burned the pictures,
The notes and songs
I still don’t know
What I did wrong
I lower my head
And forget your face
I walk away
So out of place
My steps are shorter
My breaths are too
My life has been altered
With the loss of you.