bastard.

its days like today
i sit here and cry
everyone walks by
but no one asks why
let me tell you the reason
that i sit here so low
the thoughts rush through me
and i just dont know
last night, was amazing
but today...its not like that
because nights like those
bring thoughts up to bat
thoughts of reality
and thoughts of pain
and days like today
i lie in the rain
im sleeping in this puddle
and no one seems to mind
because they've seen me here
time after time
my heart is a pile of putty
your footprints stay set
its strung out, smashed down
but i want to let
someone remold it and try
to make it into a gem
but i'm just afraid this putty
will always belong to him
its his fucking putty
he knows he can throw me out
he knows he can smash me down
he knows what he does no doubt
and i want so bad to give
this putty to someone besides he
i want my putty back
this heart belongs to me
and i want the free will
to give it to the man i please
but im still afraid every word he says
brings me to my knees
i dont know what to do
i just want to run away
times like this
on days like today