i wrote this in June and didn't ever plan on posting it anywhere...but i'm overcoming my alcoholism and sharing how i thought.
as fucked up as it all may seem
my heart is slowly mending
as twisted as my mind has been
this message it is sending,
"a rebound isnt always bad...
sometimes they truly work...
you're now getting over him,
even though it hurts.
one fuck up to cover the rest
but you're feeling better, right?
just keep someone else in your thoughts
and in your bed at night.
keep him right next to you,
but always at arms length.
cover your flaws with this now
because this will be your strength
we'll start off with tequila,
vodka, whiskey, beer,
there are your friends now
they will always be here.
they will always dismiss,
disturb and distract
any memory of him
thats could be still intact
they will always clear
your mind of any thoughts
and their friendship is a rare one
it can always be bought.
smooth, nice and simple.
they are always true.
who needs a man these days
when vodka's here for you?"
my poems.
2 comments:
I really like this, but I sincerely hope this is not how you still feel. There are people in your life that will always be there for you. All you have to do is let them in, let them hold you up. You don't need to rely on mid-altering substances to make everything ok, trust me, I know. I've been in the same situation as you, and coming from personal experience, the things you're doing dont help. In fact they do the opposite of help. They give you a false sense that you're ok, when in reality you could be the furthest thing from it. So let the people around you, the ones that care enough to fight through the walls you put up, let them into your life. Thats what will make everything ok again.
Last year I wasted a whole damn 6 months after getting laid-off just drinking and partying out with friends. But we would get stupid drunk and I'd sometimes end up throwing up at the end of the night. One night I realized that this couldn't be healthy, I started losing interest in it and it just wasn't as fun as it used to be. So I stopped cold turkey, and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. I've figured out that I get a bigger high from winning my races online than I ever did from the bottle. I've been sober for 5 months and don't plan going back for a long while. Just remember you'll always have my support. :)
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