timeless.

i wish the seconds would quit
the hands would not turn
i wish the clocks would break
i wish that time would burn
i just want it to stop!
just for one day!
i just want to take a break!
i need time away
from TIME!
its ticking and tocking
and the impatience!
stupid timing and clocking
i wish the numbers would fold
i wish the hours would learn
and for me now...
they would never return
i wish the wind wouldnt blow
and the sun wouldnt rise
and i could have this moment
to review and revise
i just need to escape
from this constant thing
to see for once
what timeless means
but time after time
time will not end
time listens to no one
time will not bend
time will keep on
but ill keep wishing it away
then maybe...just maybe
i'll get my wish one day.

forgive me.

you're like a bad taste
on the tip of my tongue
you're the fly in the soup
you're the spot on the sun
you're the hair in my mouth
you're the glitch in the system
sometimes i wonder
why are you with him?
you're the wrong book
on the wrong shelf
you're the one stupid person
who cant take care of herself
you're like a fucking apple
on a fucking pear tree
you ruin everything
you've ruined me
i apologize too much
but forgive me, i'm broken
by your actions, your stares
words you couldnt leave unspoken
you're the wrong colored bead
on that bracelet i made
you broke the pattern
you broke the braid
you left those beads
strewn across the floor
and no one can pick them up
before they roll under the door
into that room
where you ripped out my eyes
and made me your own
you're my disguise
you made me who you want
but who i dont, want to be
you've changed everything
and now, i'm not me.

my life apology.

i've learned one thing
about me, myself
that i shove you aside
like a bible on a shelf
no matter how selfless i say
that i am, i am not
i am ANYTHING but...
i'm all i've got.
i act like YOURE selfish
i act like YOURE to blame
but i'm the professional
at this fucking blame game
i'm the selfish one
i'm so wrong to say
that you're the one
who wants your way
this world revolves
around ONLY ME!
only my life...
that's how its gonna be
but i'm sick of it
i hate being me
i hate being everything
i dont want to be
i hate saying one thing
but doing another
its like i've no humility
no humble cover
i'm sorry for this
and for what i've become
i'm sorry for what ive said
and all that i've (not) done
this is a look at me
through your eyes
i'm shocked, ashamed
and a bit surprised
i'm sorry...very sorry
and i'll change i swear
it's humbling to see
that you still care
after all i've said
after all i've broken
no more of that, now
your eyes have spoken
i'll sweep up this dust
i've blanketed on you
and i'll change who i am
what i say and what i do.
i'm sorry.

please.

i guess this is it
the reason for my rhyme
i'm trying, so hard...
to just...give it time.
its so hard for me
being here alone
not touching your face
not talking on the phone
not kissing your lips
or seeing that light
that was forever in
your eyes, but tonight
it seems that lights faded
and tomorrows blind
and i'm trying...so hard
to just...give it time.
i cant handle this war
this hatred, and i'm so
sick and tired of this
and you say you dont know
but you do know
you dont want to
but this is the one thing
that i need from you
give me this right now
and ill give you the sun
this is all i have to offer
if all else fails, i'll just run
i'll run back to where i was
long before you came
when i lay in my closet
sobering into my shame
ill be back at that spot
sitting in my window
downing those pills
just watching the wind blow
ill be hiding away
holding that knife
cursing and screaming
and hating my life
ill just be back
in that place
before i knew you
before your face
placed itself
inside of my mind
i'm trying...and trying...
to just...give it time...
but meanwhile
while i'm sitting here blue
i need one thing
just ONE THING from you
i need your hand
holding mine
as i stare out this window
and i just give it time.

betrayed.

i lay in my tub
double fisted knife
tears fill it up
sick of this life
sick of my heart
its betrayed me again
its pulling me away
from my best friend
its my head vs my heart
theres no way around
theres no answer to this
my head falls to the ground
im staring at the floor
i lift my weapon to strike
you knock on the door
and itll be alright...
i have a feeling of peace
you tell me to get up
i struggle, i fight
and just when i give up
you grasp my arm
and remove my fate
a second wind
when i thought it was too late
this is no answer
to life's hard times
this is no way
to finish your rhymes
this is no way
all you can do
is struggle....
and fight your way through.

you.

when i hear your name
air escapes my chest
when i wake every morning
and i feel i still need rest
its because i was up all night
thinking of your face
of your lips pressed to mine
one exact time and place
when i hear your voice
a smile stretches from ear to ear
and i cant help but wish
you could be right here
when i smell your shirt
when we embrace a long farewell
when i lean my head on yours
i know only time will tell
if your loves as true as mine
if this is meant to last
if we should be together
or should have left it in the past
im sorry that all i can say
is 'it takes a lot of time'
because thats unsettling
and leaves unpeace of mind
but through it all, hard and soft
the rocks and rills, good and bad
i'm positive when i say
your love is all i have.

brink.

i'm sitting here
eyes welling
face burning
heart swelling
i'm on the brink
of a thousand tears
washing down
these droughted fears
i'm sitting here
chest pounding
teeth grinding
silence surrounding
i'm on the brink
of giving up on you
of leaving here
starting fresh and new
i'm sitting here
tongue lashing
fist throwing
teeth gnashing
i'm on the brink
of fucking screaming
straight in your face
if i were dreaming...
i'd be sitting here
actually feeling fine!
no thoughts of you
rushing my mind
i'd be sitting here
happy as can be
but i'm not fucking dreaming
this is too real to me.