Thursday, February 26, 2009

me.

every day i live
every breath i take
i'm convinced
is a mistake.
i hold no purpose
in this place.
my heart is empty.
cant you see it in my face?
my eyes have no luster.
my voice is hollow.
my soul is lifeless.
my smile is shallow.
the person i once was
has faded with age
has folded its cover
and torn every page.
no amount of comfort
no amount of love
could pick me up
and lift me above
the hell i live in
every second of every day.
nothing you could do.
nothing you could say.
nothing.
i am nothing.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

close my eyes.

when i close my eyes
this is where i go
im standing on a pier
removing all my clothes
no one is looking for me
im somewhere no one knows
i prepare for my dive
not once do i look back.
bend my knees and jump.
right then my sight goes black.
my body slices through
the water engulfs me whole
im lost in this ocean
my heart, my mind, my soul
still diving to the bottom
and when i reach the sand
the ocean comes to greet me
a smile and open hand
i crawl inside its fingers
and let it bury me
naked, alone, hiding
god knows i'm finally free
the ocean dances around me
the water in my chest
i breathe the water in and out
that is the final test
laying on the ocean floor
this is right where i belong
ive given all control
no longer am i strong
i own nothing
nothing of who i am
the waters taken everything
as i rest in its hands
the god the earth is missing
is found down here below
dive off that pier
and swim right here
and love, you'll surely know.