Wednesday, February 27, 2008


i guess this is it
the reason for my rhyme
i'm trying, so hard...
to just...give it time.
its so hard for me
being here alone
not touching your face
not talking on the phone
not kissing your lips
or seeing that light
that was forever in
your eyes, but tonight
it seems that lights faded
and tomorrows blind
and i'm hard
to just...give it time.
i cant handle this war
this hatred, and i'm so
sick and tired of this
and you say you dont know
but you do know
you dont want to
but this is the one thing
that i need from you
give me this right now
and ill give you the sun
this is all i have to offer
if all else fails, i'll just run
i'll run back to where i was
long before you came
when i lay in my closet
sobering into my shame
ill be back at that spot
sitting in my window
downing those pills
just watching the wind blow
ill be hiding away
holding that knife
cursing and screaming
and hating my life
ill just be back
in that place
before i knew you
before your face
placed itself
inside of my mind
i'm trying...and trying...
to just...give it time...
but meanwhile
while i'm sitting here blue
i need one thing
just ONE THING from you
i need your hand
holding mine
as i stare out this window
and i just give it time.


i lay in my tub
double fisted knife
tears fill it up
sick of this life
sick of my heart
its betrayed me again
its pulling me away
from my best friend
its my head vs my heart
theres no way around
theres no answer to this
my head falls to the ground
im staring at the floor
i lift my weapon to strike
you knock on the door
and itll be alright...
i have a feeling of peace
you tell me to get up
i struggle, i fight
and just when i give up
you grasp my arm
and remove my fate
a second wind
when i thought it was too late
this is no answer
to life's hard times
this is no way
to finish your rhymes
this is no way
all you can do
is struggle....
and fight your way through.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


when i hear your name
air escapes my chest
when i wake every morning
and i feel i still need rest
its because i was up all night
thinking of your face
of your lips pressed to mine
one exact time and place
when i hear your voice
a smile stretches from ear to ear
and i cant help but wish
you could be right here
when i smell your shirt
when we embrace a long farewell
when i lean my head on yours
i know only time will tell
if your loves as true as mine
if this is meant to last
if we should be together
or should have left it in the past
im sorry that all i can say
is 'it takes a lot of time'
because thats unsettling
and leaves unpeace of mind
but through it all, hard and soft
the rocks and rills, good and bad
i'm positive when i say
your love is all i have.


i'm sitting here
eyes welling
face burning
heart swelling
i'm on the brink
of a thousand tears
washing down
these droughted fears
i'm sitting here
chest pounding
teeth grinding
silence surrounding
i'm on the brink
of giving up on you
of leaving here
starting fresh and new
i'm sitting here
tongue lashing
fist throwing
teeth gnashing
i'm on the brink
of fucking screaming
straight in your face
if i were dreaming...
i'd be sitting here
actually feeling fine!
no thoughts of you
rushing my mind
i'd be sitting here
happy as can be
but i'm not fucking dreaming
this is too real to me.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

just a pretty face.

you're the prettiest
face, i recall
but you blew it
you threw it all
away, its gone
down the drain
your boobs replaced
all of your brain
you really are
the prettiest face
but your heart
is in a desolate place
you think youre living
but you're washed out
you've lost all site
of what life's about
your face may be pretty
but you live a sad life
you'll be a sad mother
you'll be a bad wife
you'll never settle
because you think
you've got it all now
its okay. have another drink.
you're the prettiest face
i'll ever know
but in the end
you'll have nothing to show

Monday, February 18, 2008


day after day
we constantly fall
holding it in
exposing it all
day after day
i curse your name
you deny my love
i leave in shame
day after day
we argue, we fight
day after day
and night after night
my heart still loves you
but head knows better
one day you'll know...
when you read my letter
that day after day
i wish myself there
with the sand covered beaches
heavy salt in the air
day after day
i try and try
but day after day
i still want to die
i want to hide
disappear from you
from this place...
what you say...all you do
day after day
will come to an end
when i finally say
goodbye, my friend.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


sick of sitting
solid in my seat
sick of seeing
nothing near my feet
sick of hearing
stale, pale, gray
sick of being here
alone, today
the sun is screaming
and i am calling back
i'm hoping and dreaming
but i'm stuck, in this black
sick of waiting
for that day
sick of wishing
this would go away
sick of feeling
alone in this place
sick of hiding
this darkened face
sick of singing
a tuneless song
sick of knowing
i dont belong
the sun is screaming
and i'm screaming back
i need you, sun, please
dont let my eyes fade black
sick of sitting
in nothing but snow
sick of thinking
where i will go
sick of not going
sick of just thinking
sick of this place
i'm sick
and i'm tired
i've been bent
i've been wired
the sun is screaming
and i'm screaming back.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


They fit like a puzzle
Your lips and mine
Every time they meet
Is like a pause in time
We can stop the world
With one simple kiss
Our kiss holds a fire
Please, remember this
No matter where I am
No matter where you are
No matter what time
No matter how far
Our hearts will overcome
Through every test
We’ll break down the walls
And I will never rest
Until I fulfill my mission
My goal, my dream
To make you happy
In everything
I’ll stand beside you
And hold your hand
In all we endure
I wont doubt your love
For I am very sure
Our love is like no other
Our love is rare
My whole heart and yours
Both, fully there
I love you, Brandon
With everything I can
And all I ever will beAnd all that I am

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


i feel like we have to
keep it all hidden
because for some fucked up reason
our love is forbidden
people dont like
that we're still in love
they just dont know
what we're made of
they cant see it...
...the passion in your eyes
when you gaze into mine
purely uncompromised.
they cant see that
sparkle in your smile
that only shines for me
and makes it all worth while
they cant see our hearts time
they cant see your hand
lain ontop of mine
they cant see this feeling
because its inaudible and hushed
they think we're just kids
blinded by love we've rushed
they dont see this fire
burning in my chest
they dont feel this happiness
everyday when i feel blessed
they dont know our words
exchanged and locked away
they cant feel the connection
they dont know what to say
they dont feel the spark
behind every single kiss
they dim down our love
our hunger, they dismiss
they cant feel this fever
they cant begin to heal
they dont fucking know
so what's their fucking deal

no thanks.

cant i be happy?
for just one minute?
just a glimpse of hope
i'd live in it.
i'd grasp every ounce
of light out of that time
when for once happiness
was mine. all mine.
cant people just listen?
cant people see?
that when i'm with him
i'm happy...i'm me.
why cant it be easy?
why cant i just say...
"fuck off, this is my life...
fucking PLEASE just go away."
my so called friends try to
make themselves feel good
by telling me what i shouldnt do
but not saying what i should
'dont go there, dont do that
dont date him' they say.
but where are they?
when i'm running away?
where are they...
when i'm bleeding at night
when i'm searching and searching
but cant find the light
where are they?
when i'm screaming out loud
when i'm standing alone
in the middle of a crowd
where are they?
where are you?
tell me where to go.
tell me what to do.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


the border line
is paper thin
between heaven and hell.
shove your jesus
down my throat
because its too late to tell.
ill chew it up
but spit it out
and leave you in the dirt.
today is fucked
tomorrows blind
your loss, what would it hurt.
ill break your wrists
if you reach for me
so dont bother looking back.
youve broken it once
paint my smile red
to cover whats empty and black.
so save your time
and save your word
for i'm a hopeless shame.
your words cant break
this white hot fever
its your broken word to blame.