Monday, April 28, 2008


my head is shaken
my hands are too
i need to rewind
go back to you
2005 :)
boy what a year
when we met
and it took us here
we were obsessed
we talked every night
best friends FOREVER!
hah...yeah right.
we stayed up until five
every single day
laughing and joking
and typing away
we both saved every
conversation we've ever shared
but now that's over
that damage has yet to be repaired
you moved one time
then moved again
and we'd talk and chat
only every now and then
then every now and then
turned into less and less
and less kept descending
until it became a mess
just a few "hello" and "how are ya"s
maybe three times a year
and now i look at us
theres NOTHING here
we never talk anymore
and i miss our late night chats
and our music talk
and our silly spats
i miss everything about
those endless hours
when i was young
and we were ours
i miss john mayer
and death cab, so much
and i'm so sorry
so sorry, for losing touch
i miss our secret names
and the emails you'd send
its hard to imagine
you not as my friend
and im so sorry
i let you go
because you were amazing
and knowing what i know
i think i loved you
and you loved me too
but we've drifted apart
me, my way and you...
you changed lives
one at a time
several homeless
and mine...
i miss you
i miss your thoughts
memories like that
cannot be bought
tonight i sit here
and i rewind
listening to death cab
your face in my mind
i say good night
but not goodbye
our laughs are forever
this memory wont die.

sorry isn't enough.

nothing can compare
with what happened last night
not anything i say
not anything i write
and i know now
my apology isn't enough
to look past this act
man, this is tough
a poem means more
than diamonds or gold
because its my passion, my lyrics
my world, that you hold
and i hope this means more
than just words on a screen
i know i should mean what i say
and say what i mean
but let this be my one
exception, to my dismay
i fear i'll fuck up once more
and i can only say
i'm sorry and i'll try
my hardest, my best
but i cant promise i wont
let you down with the rest
this is me pouring my heart
into your heart, but i...
...i cant apologize enough
i still sit here and cry
because my feelings are hurt
i know yours are too
but please, please forgive me
i'll make it up to you.

Friday, April 25, 2008

heart broken.

there arent words
to describe this hate
this passionate fire
from learning my fate
i must live in this world
this desolate place
and raise my kids
with a smile on my face
but nay, i will not
sit idley by
and live this life
without tears in my eyes
i cannot hold back
this anger toward you
for letting this happen
perfection, untrue
i'm heart broken
to say the least
you're a powerful, punishing
horrible beast
what can i do
to change their ways
what do my words mean
what can i say
give me the passion
the power to change
this world gone hell-bound
mad, crazy, derranged
give me your spirit
your holy fire
to keep my heart pounding
this burning desire
i want to change this world
for my children and theirs
so they wont have anything
like this shit, to bear
they'll have true smiles
unpainted, on their face
as they appreciate how this world
has become a beautiful place.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


i need something from you
i need your whole heart
not your eyes rolling
not a smart remark
i need something from you
can i? may i?
please! listen to me!
just look me in the eye!
your words are breaking me
your hands clasped
strong, over my lips
my lungs gasped
but gave me nothing.
i need something from you
i need something...anything, from you.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

that's fine.

i hope you say
'she was brave'
when you're dancing so freely
on the top of my grave
i hope you see
how much i'll leave
...memories in your heart
wearing my heart on your sleeve
i hope you taste
when you remember my kiss
the wet bitter taste
of pure raunchy piss
i hope you feel
my hands wrapped around
your neck, your throat
as you lay me in the ground
and i thank you for this
for all that you've done
and you'll never look back
as i come undone
i thank you for that
for waving goodbye
with a smile on your face
as i lay down to die.

Monday, April 7, 2008

thanks for nothing.

i've been holding in
what i want to say
but i'm letting you go
and oh, by the way
i've never even said
anything you've heard
i've only said i loved you
and i meant it, every word
i'm sorry this didnt work
but i'm partially glad
because i'm so damn sick
of everything we had
arguing every second
of every minute of everyday
so i finally get the chance
to say what i want to say
i wanted to tell you
that this is seriously it
i'm sick of being treated
and sick of feeling like shit
ill miss what we had
when i run across a memory
but never again will i speak your name
this will not be the death of me
ill pick myself up
off of your floor
after you've beaten me
and thrown me out the door
ill give up what i've held on to
and i'll give up what i've said
and never again will i lay eyes upon
your eyes sunk into your head
goodbye my lover, one last time
i'll say those words
to end this rhyme
goodbye my lover
my hopeful, my friend
thank you for everything
trust me, this is...
the end.