Monday, October 8, 2012


my pills have not been working
a reminder of why i am medicated.
i feel lost, careless, unhappy,
hateful, grouchy, undedicated.
im in an 'i hate everyone' mood
and im reliving the past
wondering why im always creating
love that doesn't ever last.
reminding myself why i hate dating.
i fall so easily and always hard.
so im blocking out my feelings
my heart is back on guard.
my defense mechanism is not caring,
but im so broken inside.
no one knows whats behind this smile.
the pain and tears i hide.
i hate everything today.
the Lord is my only friend.
i say i dont but i do want love,
and i want this anger to end.

Monday, October 1, 2012

gona be a cat lady.

i have finally decided
to build back my walls
no longer wishing
for someone with balls
i hate everyone equally
(but men, a bit more)
ill get really fat and hairy
ill be a prude, not a whore
ill have thirty six cats
no shower in my home
ill be covered in fur
but never alone
my cats will protect me
from mice...and men
i hate cats, but id rather
be a cat lady than love again.