Monday, October 8, 2012

ugh.

my pills have not been working
a reminder of why i am medicated.
i feel lost, careless, unhappy,
hateful, grouchy, undedicated.
im in an 'i hate everyone' mood
and im reliving the past
wondering why im always creating
love that doesn't ever last.
reminding myself why i hate dating.
i fall so easily and always hard.
so im blocking out my feelings
my heart is back on guard.
my defense mechanism is not caring,
but im so broken inside.
no one knows whats behind this smile.
the pain and tears i hide.
i hate everything today.
the Lord is my only friend.
i say i dont but i do want love,
and i want this anger to end.