ridiculous.

at night is when i get loneliest
when my heart beats so loud
when i feel like im standing
all alone...in a crowd
at night is when it cuts the deepest
when my soul bleeds most
when this lonely beast
in my thoughts....finds its host
it flourishes inside of me
and breathes my air
it suffocates all hope i had
as i lash out in despair
at night is when i cry the loudest
when the piercing in my chest
becomes more than a thought
its literal, literally, at its best
my body is broken
and my eyes are black
at night is when i scream the most
how so badly i want you back
when the sun comes up
and the darkness parts
so does the emptiness
and loneliness in my heart
but as soon as the last
person goes to bed
the monsters of thought
play tag in my head
and they run uncontrollably
and they play and they fight
and they tear me apart
just like new, every night
i cannot trust myself
to be alone with me
because when that monster calls
i answer, i listen, i plea

nothing helps
no ones here
my heart is all alone

so i lie each night
and cry so hard
because no one else is home.