stupid fucking 3 a.m.

yet again
im lying here
wide awake
mind clear
muddy with thoughts
wishes, dreams
pathetic bullshit
memories and things
fucking 3 a.m.
the thoughts start to flood
my mind is racing
the anger is in my blood
im so fucking pissed off
i cant get to sleep
those fucking memories!
i tried counting sheep
i cannot get any rest
theres no fucking way
im sick of lying here
helpless, day after day
theres no way out
nothing i can do
i cant erase his face
trust me, ive tried to
im so sick of thinking
thoughts like these
ive begged and groveled
"GOD JUST PLEASE!"
please remove them
all of them from my mind
and everyone tells me
"it'll just take time"
i fucking hate him
i hate this stupid thing too
i hate feeling this way
i hate doing what i do
i hate sitting here and thinking
of everything that was done
im so sick of fighting this fight
i get it, you won!
can i please fucking move on now?
can i please just move on?!
can you give me a break please?!
now that you're gone!?
i just want a fucking break
i just want to rest my eyes
im tired of the stupid shit
im tired of the lies
can i please remove this drama
all this shit from my head
I JUST FUCKING WANT
TO GO TO FUCKING BED.