sick

i hate myself for loving you
as much as i still do
i wish i could have moved right on
when we said it was through
how did you get so damn lucky
and i got so fucking screwed
howd you move on so quickly
but im still stuck in this mood
this mood of pure raging fire
i just want to try all over again
but trying to get you back
is like finding a clear m & m
its nearly fucking impossible
and theres no way to find it
you couldn't even make one
you just have to fucking quit
i dont get it at all
why did God do this to me?
why cant i be the fucking happy one?
who cares anymore, ill just leave him be
God wont give me happiness
so i guess im living for ME now
im so fucking pissed and hurt
but im done asking God how
how he could do this to me
how he could watch me fall
why he wouldn't help me out
even when i begged and all
i dont fucking get it
and im so sick of feeling this way
im so sick of looking for answers
im so sick of trying to say
that no one understands me
and now theres no point to this
my heart has been dragged along
and theres no point to even wish
to wish that i could get
that fucking second chance
God hates me and he wont even
let me dance this dance
im living for ME now
and no ones standing in my way
you can serve your God
but i'll tell you this very day
i am living this life for me
i know now what i believe
no longer will i trust your God
i'm finished being decieved.