should be sleeping

day after day
i sit in my bed
i contemplate death
as i scratch my head
somedays it sounds good
somdays not so much
people tell me
how they love me and such
sometimes i believe
sometimes i do not
but day after day
my heart holds a spot
so empty with darkness
so cold with remorse
depression is wading
this is your doing of course
what we had was beyond
all expectations of life
we had the world
i was going to be your wife
looking back now
i can finally see
what God was doing
in you and in me
he was preparing us
for this day, today
to show us what love is
and teach us its way
ive learned a hard lesson
and i still cry each night
but maybe, just maybe
someday i might
find someone
to fill up this void
in my heart and my soul
someone not annoyed
with my petty complaints
and moody response
i wish i could re-do
that is all i want
a second chance in love
knowing now what i know
with my head held high
i have these scars to show
ive been there once
and im willing once more
to open my heart
to open that door.